Be Slow to Judge

Today something interesting happened to me while at lunch that's worth sharing with anyone who might be reading.  I saw first hand, the aspect of life known as judgement, specifically the judgement of one human over another without warrant or instance.

As soon as my waitress came over to see what I wanted to drink, she noticed my sunglasses and decided to comment on them.  She chose to take it upon herself to teach me a lesson about being dumb and buying expensive glasses. She also had the agenda in her tone to try and tear me down by insinuating my stupidity for spending that type of cash, when as she put it "Mine only cost two dollars." In her defense, my glasses are snobby looking and obviously someone along the way paid too much for them, but that someone wasn't me.  Her entire argument for superiority against my dark forces displayed by my shades, was the fact that she believed I paid 200+ for the glasses.

The funny thing is, I didn't buy them. I don't know who did. They were left in my friend's car, and after almost 6 months of them being in there, she gave the glasses to me because they didn't look good on her face. To make it even better, I don't even like them.  I'm only wearing them because my roommate's dog ate my other pair.  Not only did these glasses cost me nothing, but they also serve a particular use in keeping the sun out of my eyes.  The craziest part is that by wearing these glasses I'm actually saving money because I don't have to buy another pair.

About the same time that she hit her highest notes of condemnation, another waitress came over with a glass of water and a menu, not to mention an actual smile.

After a brief discussion between the two servers about who should have the table I leaned over towards one of them and just gave her my order. Shocker alert people: Who do you think I gave my order to? The one with the smile and the non judgemental attitude got my business.

I wasn't mad with the first lady but her judgment towards me was obviously coming from a place that had nothing to do with who I was. I was not attracted to the first server's negative energy, so I literally chose it out of my life by not continuing my service through her. The choice is what's important here!

The point of the story is this: We are not what we wear.  We are not even what most people think we are.  We're something much grander and ever evolving than the color of our skin or the looks of our bodies. We're all heavenly beings trapped inside of a body for the purpose of expereince. So if you're not even sure of what or who you are, be slow to judge others.  

Because she judged me, she lost my business.

Choose love through understanding instead of judgment through fear.

Love or Something Else?

Everybody goes through a rights of passage of sorts when growing into an adult. One of the major hurdles to jump over comes in the form of falling in love; but is it love we find ourselves falling into or is it something else entirely?

I define romantic love as: an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment to another that transcends the everyday feelings of desire.  Love to me is weightless and at the same time worthy of the weight it produces.

Infatuation for a person can be defined as: the state of being completely carried away by an un-reasoned passion or desire.

I believe love represents all that's beautiful in a relationship. Love spawns the absence of self-need and gives rise to selfless giving. Love makes all things possible and provides wings of hope and imagination. Love makes people think of another's needs over their own while managing to produce balance within the equation.

Infatuation on the other hand produces no positive benefits... it limits, it hinders, it hides and it stifles the ability for a person to grow with someone for the mutual benefit of both. Infatuation is often the breeding ground for the rise of jealousy and the cause for the breakup of otherwise quality friendships.

Love gives, infatuation takes. Love enables, infatuation disables. Love inspires, infatuation limits.

When surveying your own relationship ask yourself which of these circumstances apply to you and you'll know whether or not you're in love or wrapped up in a relationship built on the not so solid foundation of infatuation.

To know if you're in love with your significant other or just swept away in infatuation you need to only ask yourself one question: Am I better because this person is in my life?

Really, a Bicycle?

If you have been blessed enough to have found someone who can stand you as much as you can stand them then CONGRATULATIONS!... you’re in a relationship, a partnership, a union or some special combination of sorts.

I’m downplaying the beauty of a relationship and the joy it can bring on purpose, partly because I think it’s good to approach such a subject of meaningfulness with a light-heart and partly because I think it’s good to base the value of your current relationship within the confines of a most basic idea- being able to stand one another.

The true test of a meaningful relationship is whether each member identified within it can honestly ask themselves: am I in this because my counterpart is everything I’m not or is this just something I’m doing to bide my time until Mr. or Mrs. RIGHT comes along?

Depending on your answer you should have an honest mode of evaluation of the current relationship you find yourself a part of and for your sake, I hope you’re able to be honest with yourself.

The inspiration for this post came on my walk home from the gym today, where I caught a glimpse into the volatile breakdown in a relationship between what looked like two ordinary people.

These two most likely pay their taxes and they probably even fulfill their civic duty of voting… but today this picture of American bliss was interrupted by an argument over how to properly shift gears on a bicycle. Yes, these two love birds became quaking crows over the simple feat of riding a bike.

As I stood and watched (yes I stood there and watched; what would you have done?) what I’m appeared to be the breakdown of their bliss-filled union I could not help but ask myself one question: why?

Why choose to argue (yes choose, in everything we have a choice) over such an inconsequential thing like the workings of a bicycle? Why not instead see the other individual as your better half and as someone with whom your only duty is to love, respect, and support? Why are we so quick to point out the minor flaws in our significant others rather than constructively help them grow as our cherished counterpart?

2 reasons: You’re not right for each other and/or you’re not ready to go your separate ways. Either can be the reason and yet somehow both are dependent upon the another for existence and evaluation purposes.

If you don’t look at your present love interest with grace in your eyes and acceptance in your heart, I hate to tell you, but it’s time to part ways amicably.

We date because it’s what we as humans do, it’s how we decipher the trophy fish from the guppy, and it’s our only way of narrowing down what will eventually be our last, great catch.

When you do find that special person that you love and adore, keep in mind one thing: give that person a fighting chance to be who they were created to be with as little static and friction from your side of the fence as possible.

Love someone because it comes natural, not unlike riding a bicycle because once anger, insecurity or deceit creeps in as the nature of your relationship and you don't have love as the bind that holds, a break-up is the only thing waiting around the corner once your significant other reminds you how to properly ride a bicycle.

You deserve only the best in all things, especially in a relationship where comfort and inspiration are supposed to ooze from. Be honest with yourself and your partner or as a by-product disaster is all that can be expected.

Choose love for yourself before you enter into a relationship and it will be much easier to give another the love and consideration they deserve when times get tough.

Giving is Receiving

Inspiration can come from anywhere and at any instant.

I just watched a video on YouTube entitled "the most and the best motivational video on the planet," it moved me into action to put these thoughts down for others to read.

I have spent my entire life trying to motivate others in hopes that deep down it would bring about the change in me that I've so desperately searched after.  What I've come to realize through this never-ending pursuit is that what you give to others, you yourself already possess.

What you want you must first give, and in order to receive you must first be willing to give that same thing away.

This is an extraordinary idea that takes some time and meditation to fully understand, but once you let these words pierce the armor of your soul, you'll soon realize that by giving something to someone else, you are/already possess that which you gave; essentially meaning: you have to be, in order to be able to give it in the first place.

We spend so much time wanting and desiring to be something or someone that we think we're not. Trust me, whatever it is you think that you're not, you can surely be if you only look inside of yourself and shed the fear of thinking there's not enough to go around, or if you choose not to believe the illusion of fear, which in turn sponsors the negative thought.

The biggest misconception we all share at one point or another is the idea that there is a lack of abundance.  There is more than enough of everything for anyone to have what they desire most.

If you find yourself wanting to be someone else, start by being that person.  It sounds simple because it is. The hardest part is believing that you have that person inside of you to start with. when that gem is realized, found lurking inside of your inner most recesses, you'll begin to understand that your potential as a human is unbounded and unmatched... except of course by every other human. We all have the same potential, it's just that some people choose to believe that we do and others are still in a state of denial.

We are beings of unlimited potential, if and only if, we believe we are.  If you choose to think that you're limited in any way, then by the nature of the thought, you will be limited.  Choose to believe in yourself by first believing in someone else and their worth.  See their worth as your worth.  Then and only then will you realize that the only limits we have on our lives are those we place on our own shoulders.

Choose to be limitless, choose to be love, choose to be giving and caring, choose to be better, choose to believe in yourself and for heaven's sake choose to acknowledge that you're more than just okay.

Prepare Yourself

We can never be sure what life has in store for us, but what we can do is prepare ourselves to the best of our ability to meet life's gifts and distractions head-on.

We get what we desire most when we least expect it, but almost always when we need it the most.  It's because of this beautiful anomaly that we have to properly prepare ourselves to receive the ups and downs of life that will inevitably get thrown our way.

When we look inside of ourselves and see the beauty that we each possess it becomes easier to accept the good things that come our way. On the flip side, if we choose to look at life as a curse or as a burden, it will be harder to accept the blessings that present themselves to us, for they will appear as ghosts to us.   

This past weekend a new friend of mine said, "I can't believe all of the cool things we've got to do over the last hand full of years."  I thought about what she said for a minute then retorted with "It's because you were open to doing fun and exciting things, it's because you weren't closed off to them."  After I said that I realized just how true those words really are for anyone who's looking for answers.

So many times in life we fail to be prepared for a blessing. So many times in life we look for a ship to sail out of the rain on, when that ship could have been there the whole time only slightly past our desire to reach. We have to be open to good things coming our way and we have to jump on those opportunities when they present themselves.  

The other point here to understand is you need to be ready for the bad things that come our way as well.  If you don't know who you are as a person or who it is you're striving to be, the bad times will always seem worse than they really are. However, if you are confident in yourself and in your abilities, when the rain comes you will see it only as a brief shower, one that only serves the purpose of cleansing.

Nothing happens to us that isn't supposed to happen, everything happens to us to make us better and stronger people, if you but only choose see it that way. Life is only as we choose it to be.  Every blessing can turn into a curse and any curse can turn into a blessing; the only thing that separates the two is how prepared someone is to seize the moment for what they want it to be.

Choose not to have the word "never" in your vocabulary or the idea of 'if only." Instead think and say, "it will," and "I will." Or for the more advanced among us, "it has."

If you're ready for a change of tides in your life then by God, prepare your ship for the new waves that will bring you where you desire to go.

When you feel like the bad is outweighing the good, you have to look at yourself for any change to take place because not anyone but yourself can save your own soul... for the soul is never truly lost but merely forgotten about for a time until we choose to see it again.

We draw near to us that which we desire most, and by desire I mean "what we think about most." You must ask yourself what it is you truly desire in life and why. This is a very important step and I would highly advise thinking about. Why waste time on thoughts not conducive to what you desire most? Emotions work the saw way too: Negativity breeds more negativity, where as positivity gives life to more positivity. The same model works for fear and love, rich and poor, the happy and sad, with endless examples being inhibited only by my desire to move on.

Be ready to take the good in life with the bad because if you're ready for both, the bad will never be enough to crush you. When you start to comprehend that in every negative there is also a positive, you will begin to understand mans' true nature.

By understanding your true nature and how that relates to your deepest desires, you will begin to attract remarkable blessings your way that seem almost impossible to believe.  Be open to life and you will never be filled, be closed to life and you will never know how close your dreams actually are to what reality could be.

Redefining Modesty

The topic of interest for me today is MODESTY.  

What exactly is modesty? 

The definition of modesty(Google) is: The quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities.

Somewhere along the way, we as people have taken the meaning of this word and transformed it to mean one of an assumed weakness or contrived inability to accurately portray our real abilities.  This particular way of thinking about this word is a major problem for human beings and for living a life where you receive what you're worth.

The place where this word has taken on its new meaning stems directly from what different faith practices tell us about the word.  In almost all religions the word modesty is highlighted as a word we need to understand in order to live better lives.  But the real issue is not that religions are telling us how to view this word, it's that religions are wrong in their motivation for describing how to live out this word. 

Modesty is best served only when someone is not boastful about their abilities, however, that doesn't mean that when asked about what we're good at we have to shy away from expounding on those gifts and talents.  It's okay to tell people when asked that you are fantastic at something. I recommend being as straightforward as possible when someone asks about your prowess in a certain area.  If you feel confident in your abilities then your words should be closely linked with what you produce. Without verbalizing your productive qualities you lose out on something extremely valuable: your worth.

If I were to ask the sun if it was hot, the sun would most definitely say, "Why yes Mason, I'm extremely hot!"  If I was to ask a professional athlete if they're good at their sport their answer would be, "Yes Mason, I'm very good at my sport, how else did I make it to the professional level?"  If you were to ask me if I think I am a smart man I would most assuredly say, "Yes, I am a smart man and I'm proud of that fact." If I was to state anything other than my worth how would I ever know how I feel about myself. More importantly, how will the world ever know what you're worth if you can't come to grips with your own self-worth?

How are we as people ever going to fully understand our wealth of ability if we continue to downplay our gifts when asked about them?

This is a radical way of thinking that takes some getting used to, but it's a way of thinking one needs to wrap their mind around if anyone expects to change their lot in life.  Let me present another scenario to you and you can tell me what makes more sense:

Two people are up for the same promotion, both are asked to meet with their boss for their final interview to decide who gets the promotion.  When employee "A" walks into the office the boss asks, "How would you rate your ability in your current job, how good are you at what you do?"  Employee "A" responds with, "I have maxed out my ability in my current position, I have outgrown its duties and I feel like my talents are best used in a new setting with more responsibility and a higher pay bracket.  When employee "B" is asked the same question he responds with, "I think I have done a pretty good job with handling my responsibility, I think I could handle more."

Which person in your mind deserves the promotion?  I say employee A does; he was more confident, and more straightforward with his belief in his ability, transpiring into a more qualified approach to obtaining the promotion. 

Employee B was trying to be modest in his answer and it cost him his promotion.  So you see that modesty can be a hindrance at times if not used in the proper ways.  Modesty is great for those who choose to be timid and weak as an excuse for not obtaining what they want most. However, if you choose to be strong and live a life where you get what you deserve, you need to understand that being confident in what you're great at is okay, it's the right choice and it's the only sure way to getting what you deserve.

Where people get caught up is in the boasting category.  Boasting is the unwarranted production of words describing something you think you're good at. Boasting is the ugly cousin of modesty and it's where people fail to see that what they're saying is of no interest to the entertaining party.

If I ask you if you're good at something and you say you're okay at it because you believe modesty is the best policy, then guess what?.. I'm not going to ask you again, nor will I pay you what you deserve for your services. How could I? If you don't know what you're worth how am I supposed to know?

I see so many people not getting what they want most in life and a large part of the reason for this is, people not believing that they deserve what they want most. Why is that? Why not choose to believe in your gifts and talents? 

Don't let your religious leaders convince you that proclaiming you're amazing at something is bad, what's bad is their stifling of your chance to succeed in life. For if you tell the universe you don't really deserve what you want most then you'll receive more feelings and instances of not having what you want. This is the great mystery of the universe and the secret to having what you desire most.

If someone asks you if you're great at this or that and you actually are then tell them you are, make them believe you're the person they need to be talking to and make them believe your words have merit and value through their sincerity and authenticity.  Believe in yourself and in your abilities and in turn use those gifts you're blessed with to create prosperity and success in any avenue of your life. This is even true for romance and relationships. If I'm dating someone and they don't know who I truly am because I shied away from honesty in some shape or form, the other person won't respect me enough to make the relationship worthwhile in the longrun. It's also a fantastic way of narrowing down who's worth your romantic love and trust. 

We are judged by others for the words and deeds created by our own hands and mouths. Being falsely modest only creates a world for yourself that creates no choice other than to be that which meets your viewpoints surrounding your life; a world of lack and want. The contrary is true as well which just might be the most beautiful gift the creator ever gave us; the ability to create our own universe within the created universe. Reality is literally nothing more than how we CHOOSE to see it. Our lives are a byproduct of our choices and how we choose to see the world around us. Why not choose a life that produces more fruit? Why not choose to see your worth? 

Forget what anyone has ever told you about your worth and honestly listen to the words that you're about to read: You are beautiful, you are kind, you are full of potential, you are the most beautiful gift in creation and you are worth whatever you think you're worth. You are the only judge of your value and no one has the right to change your mind into thinking that you're lacking in value somehow. You are me, I am you and together we make up the essential "we." Apart we all seem separate or lacking in someway but without every one's unique qualities we would have no way to be a species that continues on. We're all essential beings and we're all worthy of the heavens themself. 

Try to stay away from boasting, however, if someone asks you about your ability in some facet of life, don't for a second tell them you're less than you are. This serves only the prupose of keeping your current life out of the reach from the life you desire most.

If you don't fully believe in yourself no one else will.

We are all what we believe we are so choose to believe in yourself as 100% worthy of a beautiful and fruitful life.  No one accomplished anything worthwhile in this life if they didn't have the courage to first tell someone that they can, and will do it.

If you let the universe believe that you are less than what you are for the sake of modesty, you'll never really get what you want most out of life and the best you can hope for is modest returns.

Let Your Light Shine

“You should now better understand how people of like mind can work together to create a favored reality.  The phrase “Wherever two or more are gathered in my name” becomes much more meaningful.”

 – Neal Donald Walsch

There was once a candle that longed to shine bright for all to see.  This little candle knew what gift it possessed inside of itself; a light.  This particular candle knew its limits though, and in knowing its limits for brightness it decided to wait until others joined in his cause before he lit his wicks and gave light to those who might need him.  This candle waited so long to show off his ability that he began to forget how bright he could truly shine, causing him to almost gave up hope, until one day his owner lost power to her house.  The candle finally had his chance to fulfill his purpose regardless of how many others joined the cause.  When he was lit the little candle provided the light required for his owner to make her way through the house to light the other candles.  Finally the candle was at peace because his purpose in being created had now come to fruition.  Because this little candle provided the light needed to find the other candles in the house the owner was able to provide enough light to safely navigate her way throughout the hallways and rooms of the house.  This little light eventually burned out and completed his grand purpose, but not before he helped other candles fulfill their purpose as well.  You see, the candle didn't need to rush his purpose in this life but only needed the opportunity to show what he was made of.  When the opportunity arose he was ready and shined brilliantly, providing the light for others to be able to shine as well.  This little candle knew his purpose and when given the opportunity he took it, he didn't make excuses or hide in the drawer so as not to be used, he wasn't afraid of living up to his potential, and because of this knowledge others were able to live up to their potential as well.

This story of the little candle serves to illustrate a simple picture of our ability to shine in our own way when called upon. It serves as an illustration to show how if we’re ready to be lights in this world we will be able to help others be who they were created to be.  We all have a light inside of us, we all have a reason for being here and we all have a grand design and purpose.  There are no coincidences in this world, only a grand design.

It’s important to be ready for when the time comes to shine your light, it’s important to know and be one with your existence and purpose, and it’s important to be ready for your chance to help others better understand why they’re here through the use of your own gifts.

Sometimes all it takes for others to realize their potential is a little spark brought on by the fire burning inside of someone else. 

A single candle can brighten a room but a host of candles can brighten a house. 

The next time you think you have to make a large effect on this world right away or it’s not worth doing, start by making a modest effect on your surroundings, a micro-effect.  By starting small and on familiar grounds, you’ll soon spark the kind of light you wish to see on a larger scale and you’ll see more of the macro-effect you were hoping for.

No change or movement was ever started on a large scale, it first began with a single idea, then an action for change took place, then word spread about the deed and others took action in the particular movement. 

We can all see a change in this world if we but first start by being the change ourselves.  Shine as brightly as you possibly can and others will take notice and join in on spreading the light.

A candle can only light a room, but it only takes one candle in the darkness to provide light for the rest.